Tag - Kim Dare

My Friend Danny by Kim Dare

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I have an imaginary friend. His name is Danny.

He’s only recently moved out of his parents’ house and into his own flat. He’s in his early twenties and on his own for the first time. Unfortunately, this whole “being an independent adult” thing isn’t as much fun as he thought it was going to be.

In my imagination, he’s just come home after a really bad day. Sometimes his bad day revolves around a hard shift doing a minimum wage job. Other times it involves a date with a man who turned out not to be such a nice guy. Danny’s a sub. He’s met quite a few men who think dominance and cruelty are the same thing. Sometimes Danny thinks nice guys are more like myths than realistic prospects.

It’s cold and raining. Danny lives in Wales, just like me, so it’s usually cold and raining. This isn’t the first time he’s arrived home soaked to the skin. Since he’s dependant upon public transport, it’s unlikely to be the last time either.

Danny changes into dry clothes and makes a cup of tea.

The only reason he can afford the rent on his flat without needing a flat mate is because he’s living in a bad part of town. Two doors down the street is a pub that plays loud music late into the night.

The beat from the base pounds through his entire flat. There’s no chance of Danny being able to sleep, so he doesn’t bother heading to bed. Instead, he curls up on his sofa with a cosy blanket and his mug of tea, and he picks up his e-reader.

Win Things: One commenter will be given a choice between an e-copy of either Axel’s Pup, Duck! (2nd ed) or Magpie (2nd ed).

And this, I’m sure you’ll be glad to hear, is the part where I get to the point of this post. This is the part where queer romance comes in. On a different kind of evening, Danny might reach for porn or a thriller, but what Danny needs on night like this is a romance—a comfort read. And, more specifically, what he really needs is a comfort read that features people like him.

I started writing my own stories at a time when my health wasn’t great. I have something called ME (sometimes referred to as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). When it’s bad, it tends to involve long periods lying in a dark, silent room. Your senses are so heightened you can’t tolerate the light on, or music playing. You can’t do anything because you’re too exhausted. You can’t sleep because you’re in too much pain. One of the few things you can still do is make up stories.

Perhaps unsurprisingly in those circumstances I wanted to think about things that would cheer me up. So, I automatically started to make up my own comfort reads. It was around that time that I realised that, for the previous couple of years, my own reading had been splitting into two parts. Half of the stories I read were feel-good comfort reads, and half were about people like me, but none of the stories I could find back then fitted into both categories.

If I wanted to read about sex or sadness, there were lots of stories about people like me. But love and happy endings—apparently the world thought that they were only for the straight vanilla people. And you know what? That’s not okay.

Not being able to find love and happiness because I was too ill was one thing, but the idea that because I’m bi and kinky I’m not good enough for love, that I’m not allowed to have happiness? No.

That was when I consciously started to write comfort reads for people who aren’t straight or vanilla. That was when I started to write stories about people like me, people like Danny.

Sometimes my imaginary friend Danny changes a bit. Sometimes he’s older. Sometimes he’s gay rather than bi. Sometimes he’s a dom or a switch. Sometimes she’s a woman. Most facets of Danny are up for being changed depending on the particular story I’m writing, but I always feel that he’s someone like me—even those times when he turns out to be a werewolf.

The theme of this year’s Queer Romance Event is “We All Need Stories” and the organisers are right—we do. Sometimes the real world sucks, and God knows that there are times when we all need to be reminded that love isn’t just for straight people, and happy endings aren’t a vanilla privilege.

And, I suppose, on an extra-selfish note, these stories intersect with reality and give me hope in another way. Because if queer people can find love and kinky people can find happiness, maybe it’s possible for someone who’s often too ill to get out of bed to do the same. Maybe.

*Hugs*

Kim Dare (+ Danny).


Win Things:

One commenter will be given a choice between an e-copy of either Axel’s Pup, Duck! (2nd ed) or Magpie (2nd ed).


About Kim Dare:

Kim is a bisexual submissive from Wales (UK). First published in 2008, she has since released over 100 BDSM erotic romance titles ranging from short stories to full length novels. Having worked with a host of fantastic e-publishers, she moved into self publishing in 2013.

While she occasionally enjoys writing other pairings, most of Kim’s stories focus on Male/Male relationships. But, no matter what the pairing, from paranormal to contemporary, and from the sweet to the intense, everything she writes will always feature three things – Kink, Love and a Happy Ending.


About Axel’s Pup

axels-pup-200x300As the landlord of The Dragon’s Lair and leader of The Black Dragons Motorcycle Club, Axel Carmichael has seen it all and done it all. He’s a respected and experienced dom. Nothing shocks him any more, and nobody catches him off guard.

When Bayden rides up to The Dragon’s Lair on a bike worth more than most men earn in a year, and immediately demonstrates that he has far more attitude than sense, it’s easy for Axel to write him off as a silly little rich boy who’s about to get himself killed.

But, there’s more to Bayden than meets the eye. He’s no silly little boy, rich or otherwise, and werewolves aren’t easy to kill.

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On Being Icky by Kim Dare

23. Bi Now, Gay Later

I’m not always incredibly quick on the uptake, I’ll admit that. I live inside my own head a lot.

While I’ve always known that I’m attracted to men and women, I was in my twenties before I realised that knowledge came with a label attached to it. But, the real shock was realising that the rest of the world wasn’t bi. It hadn’t really registered with me until then that most people were only attracted to one gender.

I can actually pin point the moment when I first started to realise that being bi made me “different”, when it made me someone who might not be accepted, when it was perhaps something I was better off not telling certain people.

I was reading a blog written by an author I knew in passing. She wrote (and as far as I’m aware, still writes) both MM and MF. In her latest story, she’d intended to include a brief FMF scene. But, during that scene the two female characters ended up touching each other—I believe one touched the other woman’s breast.

She stopped writing and if I recall correctly, scrapped the ménage scene entirely because writing about a woman being intimate with a woman made her very uncomfortable. A woman touching another woman was icky and she wasn’t writing that.

I raised an eyebrow at the post, but being more a lurker than anything else, I didn’t comment on it. However, I did drop by the blog again to see what everyone else had to say. There were quite a few comments from other writers, all of whom were female and most of whom wrote at least some MM.

I settled down to read them, fully expecting the comments to politely suggest that the original writer grow up and stop being so homophobic. A woman touching another woman is no ickier than a man touching another man—and we write about that all the time. Show some respect. We aren’t the kind of people who have a problem with LGBT people, whichever part of the acronym someone may represent.

What I found were lots of people saying: Yeah, that would have freaked me out too. I don’t blame you for cutting the scene. Ew, girl cooties. I couldn’t write that. I’m not a lesbian.

This all happened a few years ago. I still have mixed feelings about that blog post and the comments left on it. On the one hand, no one should feel pressured to write something that makes them uncomfortable. There are things I won’t write, I’d guess that most people are the same.

On the other hand, there’s a lot to be said for treating people, even people who you don’t want to write about, with a bit of respect. The whole thing did make me wonder about the community around me—about the people who wrote same-sex romance and who I thought were so accepting of the whole rainbow. It did make me pay more attention to what was being said about women who like women—about people like me.

It did make me wonder if, having realised that I was “different” in this way, I should tell my little bit of the Queer Romance community. This was quite a few years ago now. I don’t recall any other female MM writers being openly bi. I didn’t like the idea of all those writers I was just getting to know thinking that I was icky. But I sure as hell didn’t want them accepting me on the basis of me being straight either.

I have had some interesting reactions. There’s a lot of biphobia about, from both sides. (Usually preceded by “I’m not biphobic, but…”) I still wonder sometimes how many readers see the word “bisexual” in my author bio and decide they don’t want to read something by someone who does icky things with other women.

But the good reactions have outweighed the bad.

My favourite reaction was telling my mother I was bi. Something changed that day. She went from hoping I’d meet a nice man and live happily ever after to hoping I’ll meet a nice person and live happily ever after. That was it. That reaction still makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside every damn time.

(Actually, in the interests of full disclosure, she’s now moved on to hoping I meet a nice dominant and live happily ever after. What can I say, I write BDSM, and she reads all my books. The maths isn’t complicated.)


About Kim Dare

Kim is a thirty-one year old bisexual submissive from Wales (UK). First published in 2008, she has since released almost 100 BDSM erotic romance titles ranging from short stories to full length novels. Having worked with a host of fantastic e-publishers, she has just moved into self publishing.

While she has occasionally ventured towards other pairings, Kim’s first love is still, and probably always will be, Male/Male stories. But, no matter what the pairing, from paranormal to contemporary, and from the sweet to the intense, everything she writes will always feature three things – Kink, Love and a Happy Ending.


 About Bi Now Gay Later

Book five23. Bi Now, Gay Later in the Perfect Timing Series

Can a bi submissive really find happiness with a master who doesn’t believe bisexuality exists?

Jerry would be Denton’s ideal submissive – if only he would just get his last foot out of the closet and admit he’s properly gay. Denton loves Jerry, but he knows it’s a master’s responsibility to make sure his submissive doesn’t lie to himself or the rest of the world. He can’t let Jerry hide behind the bi-sexual label forever.

Jerry has no doubt that he’s one-hundred percent bi-sexual. He’s also well aware how much his master hates that fact. Jerry loves his master and he wants to please him, but he can’t lie and say he’s gay when he knows he’s not. Denton would be Jerry’s ideal master, if he could just accept the fact he’s bi.

Eventually, somebody’s going to have to give in and admit he’s wrong. The only question is who?

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